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Excerpt from: The Understanding of a Human Heart

Ella Pettyjohn

Feb 20, 2023

“Unbearable it was. The weight of the thing. It loomed, heavy, over my conscience. Timid but strange; unknown. The unknown is a strange place. The unknowing of what comes next. The unknowing of... my own mind. Peculiar how one most likely won’t know the inner workings of their own mind, their thoughts. Thoughts moving at a hundred miles an hour. You’re lucky to catch just one. But then to dwell on that single thought you were able to harness. To dwell is to dream and to dream is to never wake. If you never wake... if I never wake, what is to become of me? Would my body slowly be reclaimed by the Earth? The budding flowers would pierce through my flesh in search of light. The roots would wrap around my arms and legs, dragging me deeper into the soil to claim my essence as nourishment for its own growing life. And would I wake? Would I wake from this violent and beautiful hell my unwaking moments have led me to. Or would I not. Would I simply accept this as my fate? Accept that I will no longer be known as ‘boy’ and never be known as ‘man’.” 

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